When we got pregnant, Jason and I discussed lots of parenting ideas..... however we never really had a "parenting motto". There were a couple of things we discussed as to what we did and didn't want but once Kelso got here and sleep deprivation set in, everything sort of went out the window. I knew I wanted to breastfeed. I knew I wanted to be a baby wearer. I also knew I didn't want to co-sleep.
In the beginning Kelso slept in our room, not even next to our bed... as time went on and the haze of no sleep, colic and reflux set in I took the easy route and brought the pack n' play next to the bed... soon I couldn't even stay awake long enough to get him back into the pack in play....... But I was not defeated, we slowly started putting Kelso in his crib in his own room. He would sleep until it was time for Jason and I to go to bed and ultimately he would sleep with us. Sadly, it didn't take long for thing to change. Kelso has always been a sleep fighter. He HATES to go to sleep. We nurse, rocking, sing, dance, pat, spin... we've left him to cry, we've left him to play himself to sleep... none of it works consistently. And I don't even remember when but I think it was around the 6 month mark when Kelso started waking up ever 20-45 min. I was at a total loss. I did something else I never imagined... I took him to a chiropractor. Interestingly the sessions seem to help but at this point we've started co-sleeping, because as you can imagine waking up every 20 -45 minutes literally makes you insane...
So here we are, my boy is 11 months old. He does not sleep through the night. He does not sleep in his bed... he nurses like all night, is definitely "attached" and I've got mono. Now, sure I shouldn't blame this on attached parenting... but the truth is if I was getting more sleep, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have mono for a second time. I started getting sick in November and basically haven't been able to get well for longer than a week (once off antibiotics) since then. The biggest problem now is what do I do? I'm obviously not getting enough rest the way it is right now.... but I don't have enough energy to move him out of our room or to even night ween. It's funny to say because if anyone had said that to me before I was beyond exhausted and had a baby that woke so frequently, I'd say "you just have to do it'. My body is actually screaming at me.. and yet I'm paralyzed with fatigue and unable to do anything. So here I am just bitching. Aren't blogs great? ;)
Everything I've read, every technique is going to require commitment, and night waking that includes more than me just shoving my boob in Kelso's mouth... So I guess we'er stuck for a little while longer. I'm hoping that an adjustment with the chiropractor (which Kelso's needed since the beginning of the month but I've been too exhausted to drive up for), continued focus on good full hour naps, realistic expectations and a recovery from this mono while my mom is here so I can focus more on either making co-sleeping work better for us or moving him back to his room without tons of tears from all of us.
If you have any kind, well wishes and good ideas other than let him cry it out, I'd love to hear it. Crying it out has not worked for us. I'm not saying it is wrong, I'm just saying it didn't/doesn't work for us. Secondarily, I don't really have any extra cash right now for a behaviorist as I ended up seeking help for some issues with Courage and I've been missing work because I'm sick.
Oh man, I feel for you Reagan. I had mono at 15 and was miserable. I can't imagine doing it with a breastfeeding, co-sleeping baby attached to me. You will recover though! It just sucks right now (I know those aren't words that help)
ReplyDeleteAs far as the sleep goes, we gave in to co-sleeping too...when Madi turned 2. Isn't that crazy?! Go 2 years with having her in her own bed the majority of the time to taking away the pacifier and gaining a toddler in our bed. I actually enjoy it now and will definitely co-sleep from birth with the next one. I think its easier on you to have him in your bed right now and its easier on him. He won't go to highschool sleeping in your bed and there are parenting battles that will take all your energy. You kind of have to chose which those will be...we chose to fight the pacifier because of the damage it could do to her teeth. We didn't fight the sleeping because its just not that big of a deal. Why spend hours trying to get him to sleep in his bed when you can take him into yours and both be asleep a lot faster? I also think its natural for people to want to sleep together rather than in a room alone. Its closeness, familiarity, and comfort. Not just for babies but for adults too. I much prefer to sleep with Brad than I do alone. Just a thought :)
Will he take a bottle if you pump? Maybe having your mom take over more feedings during the day will help? Or Jason can feed him some bottles at night? I obviously don't know your whole situation, just brainstorming and feeling bad for you!
I hope you are able to get some rest and heal yourself! Morgan
Btw, I am definitely not saying co-sleeping is the only possibility, just what is working for us right now.