I am not in control and I need to accept this. The more I plan and think I have things under control the more choas I experience. I need to let it all go so I can actually see which doors are opening.
I still don't know what I want.. I don't know where I want to work or even what my expectations are. Every time I start to accept or believe one thing, something else pops up and changes my mind. So this is how it's going to go, I will seek out every opportunity that even slightly intrests me, apply and interview. At the end of all that, when all my choices are open and in front of me, god will guide me to the correct choice. Yes, I said god. No I don't care what anyone thinks... I don't care if it's my Christian God, Budda, a unicorn or even tea leaves, I need devine intervention. I am searching for the right direction and I believe if I can just let go long enough and allow my subconscious to "hear", I will end up in the right place.
14 more work days of Residency. 2 months and one week until I graduate. Real world, here I come.
Only 14 more days?? You are incredible! And we are SO close to graduations. Wherever you end up it will be where you are supposed to. And you will incredible in whatever setting you end up- you are so passionate about what you do!
ReplyDeleteIt's ironic: signs may be out there pointing us in whatever direction, and the harder we look for them, the harder they are to see. A lot of times, the answer is within us and that's where we'll find it - brought to light by God or Buddah or unicorns or whatever, it's just a matter of being open and quiet. I hope you are able to find whatever devine entity can help to guide your eyes inward so you can clearly see what's out there for you... and what you have to offer the world.
ReplyDeleteThis too shall pass, and your path will open to you.
ReplyDeleteLove
Mom