Saturday, June 26, 2010
I'ma be, I'ma be, I'ma be a bumble bee
My amazingly supportive parents always told me, “You can be anything you want to be.” They just forgot to mention that to be any of these amazing things that we all dream as children, it would take more than just hard work. These dreams take time, money, tears, foregoing other dreams, and there is still the possibility that in the end I may not be satisfied, or I may have chosen the wrong dream to pursue. I guess I always knew life was hard and full of choices, but somehow I missed that not all things go down as easy as Dimetapp™ (original pseudoephedrine flavor), and happiness isn’t as simple as eating cheddar cheese popcorn and watching TV or playing Dr. Mario.
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I hear you, my friend, I hear you. I used to have it all laid out: what I was going to be when I grew up, and how I was going to get there. None of those plans turned out to be the path that I'm on. The grass is only greener on the other side if you're unhappy on the side that you're on now. Trust your instinct, keep choosing what feels right, and just let it happen. And you know you can always call me. : ) - Sara (I didn't mean to post as "anonymous," I just didn't know what they were talking about when it said that they wanted my name/URL)
ReplyDeleteI have been where you are many times, for many different reasons. One of the best things I've learned as I've gotten older (and older, and older ha ha)is that often the grass is greener on the other side because of the angle at which we view it. In one of the darkest times in my life, when I was on the verge of losing absolutely everything I had worked for because of a bad marriage, I read a book that said you can't appreciate WHAT you have unless you acknowledge, no matter how small or seemingly insignificant.
ReplyDeleteThe book recommended an exercise to do every morning before getting out of bed: list 10 things to be grateful for. Sound easy? Somedays it isn't, and believe me, I went through a period where I listed things like having 10 toes, 10 fingers, 2 eyes, a roof over my head. Then the last thing you do at night, is to list 10 things you are grateful for before you go to sleep.
You will be amazed at what you remember from the day, and what at the end of the day has left an impression on you, and your chosen path.
Will your path magically stay the same? Will you find you've made the right decision, or will life surprise you? I swore I'd never get married again and had given up on the idea of having a family of my own. Look at me now - I have a husband who loves me, flaws and all, and two beautiful children (yes, I'm biased). Is our life always perfect? Are there never any bad days? No. And oddly, I'm grateful for that. Because if I didn't have the bad days, I would never understand just how good things have been, and continue to be. The bad days help me refine the rest of my life.
Its like when you bake and forget an ingredient or use too much and the end result sucks. Do you never bake again, or do you pay closer attention the next time and enjoy the results.
Next time you are feeling lost or wondering about your path, feel free to stop by and enjoy the chaos that is mine - screaming, manic toddlers will not only give you a headache, but an amazingly new perspective!
You both are too kind. :) I'm actually not feeling down, or even ungreatful. My life really is pretty fabulous. I'm just curious, which way my life take me, and which one of my dreams do I want to follow next. I guess in a way I feel like I have too many option and I'm sort of at a loss as to what I want. I love the idea of reflecting on at least 10 good things a day. Everynight I do think of at least 1 to 2 things I'm thankful for but I think I should bump it up. :)
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